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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27682484">know that i'm with you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/transvav/pseuds/transvav'>transvav</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mianite (Minecraft Series), Minecraft - Fandom, Realm of Mianite - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Realm of Mianite, Tubbo is Jordan's Son, dad sparklez, mentions of fire, phil is only there briefly, you can tear this from my dead hands</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:14:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>898</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27682484</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/transvav/pseuds/transvav</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(the only way that i can be)</p>
<p>tubbo, <em>tommy asks him one day,</em> what happened to your parents?</p>
<p><em>tubbo does not answer. tubbo tucks his knees to his chest, and rests his chin atop them, and says,</em> i'd rather not speak about that, tommy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <em>tommy does not ask again. </em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jordan Maron &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>378</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>know that i'm with you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a gift for ely, based partially off of <a href="https://nkhaotic.tumblr.com/post/635533227956813824/tubbo-canon-lore-states-that-he-was-found-on-the">this</a> fucking gut wrenching comic by nkhaotic on tumblr!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"tubbo," his dad says that fateful morning. "tubbo, look at me."</p>
<p>it's hard, he can't help but think. it's hard to look at him when the skies are blotted with smoke, hazy orange and bleeding. it's hard when his vision is blurred with tears and he can't quite breathe right. he isn't hurt, save for the scratch of his throat against the heat of the air- the same cannot be said for his father, who has dark stains on his shirt, who has lost his coat somewhere to the rest of the havoc.</p>
<p>what was it, he'd said once? everything he loves burns?</p>
<p>it’s true enough, he thinks. the ship tubbo was raised on is gone, ashes on the ocean breeze, and the port town that tubbo had known for as long as he could remember is crackling around him, support beams and oak platforms shattering into splinters and charcoal. there’s a bell in the distance, and mostly everyone is gone‒ but that’s not what hurts the most.</p>
<p>what hurts is that he knows the quiver in his father’s hands, the way his rough palms cup his cheeks and his calloused thumbs shakily wipe away the blood and tears from his face with an unsteady smile, carefully brushing tubbo’s hair from his eyes and taking a slow breath. the last time his da was shaken like that was back when he was just a baby‒ he barely remembered it, but one of the old crew that had long since sailed away had explained, once.</p>
<p><em>your father’s got a duty, whether he likes it or not</em>, the sailor had told him, and spread out a star map for tubbo to run his fingers over curiously to help calm his tears. his dad had been gone for a few days, at that point. <em>there will come a day when the goddess calls him back, and he will not have a choice. and despite the fact that you were her gift to him, he cannot take you. he couldn’t bear it.</em></p>
<p>“i wish i could stay,” his da whispers above him in the moment. “i wish i could protect you more than this, but i don’t‒”</p>
<p>if tubbo was looking, <em>really </em>looking, he would see the ghost ship on the horizon, would hear the waves begin to clash against the sand, furious and searching. the captain has overstayed his welcome and he is being <em>called</em>, and he hates it, hates it all, for once he damns himself and he nearly damns <em>her</em> for needing him so desperately, because his son needs him <em>more</em>.</p>
<p>“you need to hide,” he says instead, and the both of them know there is a tree on the edge of the town with a hollow trunk that is protected by more than the runes carved into the roots. “you need to go, tubbo, and when it’s safe again, i will come back and find you.”</p>
<p>“and we can go back?” tubbo says, and he has never felt so small in his life, shivering despite the ever growing flames. “we can go back to the tree, right, we can go to my gardens, and i can tend to the bees?”</p>
<p>“yes, tubbo,” his da whispers, nodding. “we can go back. i’ll come back for you, i promise. i <em>promise</em>.”</p>
<p>tubbo nods harder and feels more tears dripping further down his face and his dad pulls him close, careful, and tucks him tight against his chest. he can feel and hear his heartbeat and it’s going too slow, <em>much </em>too slow, and he’s too calm, too cold. his dad is strong, but gentle, and he’s never felt safer despite knowing he’ll be gone so <em>soon</em>.</p>
<p>“stay safe and remember me, okay?”</p>
<p>“captain,” tubbo hiccups, “i will never forget you.”</p>
<p>he laughs, above him, a quiet breath of a thing, and despite the fact that he’s as cool as stone, tubbo wants to chase the warmth he leaves behind when he pulls away. tubbo will never, ever call him <em>dad </em>to his face, because that’s‒ that’s something special. that’s something different, that’s for when the nightmares are too much and he can’t breathe right, or when the ship is rocking too hard in the storm, or when tubbo is lonely, ever so lonely, and has no hope left in him at all. no, he’ll keep that to himself, he thinks‒ it’s the way they never say <em>i love you </em>to each other, either, isn’t it?</p>
<p>when he tucks himself into the tree hollow, the bark shuts just enough for him to see out‒ he’d looked back, when he’d reached it, but his father was long gone, amongst the smoke and rubble and the tides as they pulled away. the ghost ship was gone from the horizon, and the night began to fall, and tubbo pressed his back against the trunk and waited.</p>
<p>(deep down, of course, he knew it would be some time before he saw his father again. when the man in green with the sky blue eyes and the soft feathered wings came along, tubbo took the opportunity‒ <em>stay safe</em>, the captain said, <em>and remember me</em>. tubbo will never forget.)</p><hr/>
<p>and worlds away, on an island made of nearly nothing, in the middle of almost nowhere, jordan slammed his fists into the sand and screamed, angry, tired, and so very, very afraid for the fate of his son.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my <a href="http://transandor.tumblr.com">tumblr</a><br/>i am sad come be sad with me thank you</p></blockquote></div></div>
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